Good Times Virus Warning

I got a kick out of this.  Thought you might too.


>READ THIS:
>
>        Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but
>it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It
>will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
>cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
>cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field
>harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.
>
>        It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It
>will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and
>leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming
>over. It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit
>pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
>
>        Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will
>give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your
>gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your
>girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to
>your Discover card.
>
>         It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she
>is dead, such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the
>grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
>
>        It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't
>find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on
>your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It
>is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather
>interesting shade of mauve.
>
>        Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the
>toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime in your bathtub
>and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase
>gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
>
>        Listen to me. Goodtimes does not exist.
>
>        It cannot do anything to you. But I can. I am sending this
>message to everyone in the world. Tell your friends, tell your
>family. If anyone else sends me another E-mail about this fake
>Goodtimes Virus, I will turn hating them into a religion. I will do
>things to them that would make a horsehead in your bed look like
>Easter Sunday brunch.
>