THE ANOREXIC FOOD CRITIC:
Dumb Things Olivia Has Been Known to Say
| HOME | ABOUT tAFW | tAFW EXCERPT | tAFW EXCERPT 2 | ED LINKS | CONTACT JEN |
| "The sleeve of my sweatshirt smells like corn tortillas and lime. Carnitas. Why do I smell like Mexican food? I shouldn’t smell like anything culinary, it’s a horrible way to odorize yourself. Perfume, yes. Sweat even, because it could mean you’ve been working out. But definitely not anything calorie-laden. Or Mexican." |
|
"I am a natural-born spitter. That’s why I love wine so much. A connoisseur, most definitely. I get to spit all I want, without shame or recrimination or strange looks or anything. As a matter of fact, I’m admired for my spitting ability. Wine is a fantastical product, for sure." |
|
"I am slowly dripping pieces of myself. I melt, like a cone of fat-free frozen yogurt." |
| "I’m terrified. The thought of being with Rett makes me terrified. The thought of being without Rett makes me terrified." |
|
"I wake at 2 AM, sick. After a few hours I’m finally able to go back to sleep, but when I wake again it’s full-bright morning, and I’m still sick. "It isn’t until I’ve wandered out of the bathroom for the third time that I realize it’s my pre-anniversary. This day, exactly one year from now, I’m supposed to get married. "No wonder I'm so pukey." |
|
"Have you ever heard of pre-bulumia? It sounds really nasty—well, it is really nasty. It’s when you chew your food but don’t swallow it. So I do that. I just get the taste, without the fat and calories or whatever. Spit it out, don’t consume the stuff that could make me fat. And then I rinse my mouth, completely and thoroughly, so no stray molecule of food will get swallowed and cause a miscellaneous calorie to burst through my system. "Kinda sick, I know. But I do it anyway."
|
| GruncAl's Wine Dictionary | tAFC Blog | Chick Links | Words of Wisdom from Olivia | Nope, no link here | AW |
Copyright © 2008 Jen duBay. All Rights Reserved.