www.thisjustinreporting.com | 04.01.2010 |
After a long, quiet legal battle, Monhegan Island hotel owners and their lawyers settled out of court this week regarding a claim of biased lodging establishment titles. Initially just one establishment was in question, but when the owner, who asked to remain anonymous, stated "Like, that is totally unfair!", word got out and all accommodation style businesses on Monhegan came equally into question. The judges final decision was announced this morning and while one owner is rumored to be filing an appeal nothing has been filed at this time.
One resident who attended all of the hearings was, "...wicked amazed at the verdict..." while another agreed adding, " Nobody woulda' ever complained except when North End Pizza moved to the center of town and kept their old name. That got people thinking, and in February, any talk not having to do with cats can really snowball." That establishment changed its name several years ago to North End Market (despite the central location), and then to Monhegan Store, according to multiple store signs on the building front, but no one is sure which is official as checks are accepted in either name. It does, however, contribute to the general confusion.
"I don't get it," stated one long time resident, "I mean, its everywhere! Like... there's no rope in the Rope Shed but they call it that. Its full of crap, with a bunch of freaking signs tacked to it, so why can't the hotels call themselves what they want?" Records show the Rope Shed was initially a barn.
Based on the judges decision, new hotel names are as follows:
Monhegan House will be called "Monhegan House That is Really a Hotel".
The Island Inn will be called "Island-One of Three-Inn".
Trailing Yew will be changed to "Trailing but Perfectly Able to Keep up Yew".
Shining Sails and Fish & Maine will merge and be called "Shiny Fishy Maine Sails".
Hitchcock House, taking a record long deliberation time, will now be referred to as "The Humanely Harnessed Penis House".
Tribler will be called... Tribler.
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Spiffy Cat - reporting